Ways to Balance School and Relationships Post-Military

When leaving the military, most people will tell others that it's crucial to keep meaningful relationships at the forefront of your life. When transition comes, this can be hard to do, especially when leaving the military. But there are some ways to ease the transition and make sure the important relationships stay important. 

Attending School While Maintaining Relationships

Working through his undergrad while on active duty and immediately after helped one veteran figure out some tricks of the trade. He learned to let his ego go, sharing relevant and helpful experiences but remembering that his deployments and military experiences didn't carry the same weight in the college classroom. 

"When I did my master's degree, it was a little more difficult because I had a kid," he said. "Luckily, my program held classes at 4:30 pm and 7:30 pm, so my wife could take care of my son while I was at class. I'd get home at 11:30 at night and had to be at work by 7:00 am, so that was rough on both of us." 

This veteran found it beneficial to take a break in the summer -- something he recommends to those who are balancing more than just school.  

Prioritize What's Important

After leaving the Marine Corps in 2013, Russell Hellyer went to school while married with kids and working. He learned a few things that helped him and shared them with other veterans in the same situation.

"Don't be afraid to scale back extras -- especially if you have a family and/or a job," he said. "Makes sure to build a strong support group with family and friends. Ask the school for help as well."

Hellyer suggests taking advantage of counseling from the school and the VA. He reminds student veterans that colleges and universities want them to attend and are usually willing to help with the process.

"Build a strong relationship with veterans resources offered at the school," he adds. "Make sure all the paperwork is up-to-date and let them know what you may need, so they have the opportunity to help." 

Financial Considerations

No one can claim they're getting rich off the military, but the world is very different on the outside. The Post-9/11 GI Bill® and the monthly housing allowance can be helpful when going to school full-time, but three in five student veterans work while going to school, according to a census from the Student Veterans of America.

Before the transition, a solid financial footing can help ease some of the burdens of leaving active duty and becoming a full-time student. Additional resources and scholarships are available to student veterans who need more financial assistance. Some may find it beneficial to take evening or online classes to eliminate the need for full-time childcare or work during the day. 

Some veterans can take the lessons they learned from taking classes while on active duty and apply them to their time after leaving the military. According to this article in Military Families Magazine, the biggest takeaway is to have a support system and to talk to the people in your life. Developing a plan with those close to you is the first step. Just like in any relationship, communication is key.  

Ready to learn more about navigating the higher education system as a veteran? Start here.